Mental distress is not an easy area to talk about at the best of times. It covers more than just mental illness as some people who are struggling with life enough to say that they were in mental distress have not received a medical diagnosis. However what they do know is that life is so tough that it seems virtually impossible to cope with what is happening around them. Not only that but it is so personal at times. Some of the people who are involved in this part of Susan\’s story would not be happy if they knew that some of the things they did to give Susan this experience were recorded anywhere.
Mental health issues of others
What is a matter of record is that in 1988 the main breadwinner of her household was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Anyone who has come into contact with this issue knows that there are times when the symptoms of this disorder can be so severe that their effects are devastating on those around them. It is the sort of illness where if a GP realises that their daughter is married to a victim they will want to protect their child by telling them to walk away from the marriage. The consequences of divorce being so much less severe than the consequences of living with a sufferer in the long term. Medical science has found ways to relieve symptoms, sometimes but it is an illness that is managed rather than cured.
The victim knows that they are being taken over by something that is beyond their control. Something that is forcing them to behave in ways that hurts themselves and others. What is worse if they cannot have their way and something they say should happen does not happen then they can become angry. In other words they can become very abusive if people try to get them to behave \”normally\”. There are then two options. Firstly you can try and maintain normal standards and live in an angry atmosphere. Secondly you can submit to their edicts and accept their abusive behaviour. Susan\’s problem was that the church she was attending at the time encouraged wives to be submissive no matter what their husband\’s behaviour. Being submissive in that situation removes any form of boundary from the victim so they do not attempt to maintain any normal lifestyle. Their conduct can become worse and worse and the problems within the household can only increase as a result.
Susan’s own mental distress
Given that kind of situation it is understandable that Susan struggled at times. Sometimes her distress became so severe that if it had been diagnosed it could have been labelled as post-traumatic stress disorder. Life did become very hard for Susan at times. That was one reason why she retreated into the world of education and did so many different courses. At least that is a productive coping mechanism rather than resorting to alcohol or prescription medicines.
She chased after many of the healing teachings available within the church. Some were very helpful to her personally as with the discovery and removal of the barrier that stopped her feeling love for so many years. What she really wanted was for others to change so that their lives could be improved and of course the fallout for her would be that this would make her life easier as well. Sadly this never happened with one person and time will tell how much of a difference these things will have on other people.
Of course once that relationship ended she could see what really her issues and what had been his. It meant that she was able to get some relief from the pressure of that relationship and start thinking about helping herself. This has included recovery from the past, becoming better able to cope in the present and looking forwards to the future.
Reaching out to others
This was why for a while Susan did some voluntary work with an organisation that provided support services for people with mental health issues. What she soon realised was that there were some who had had an even greater struggle than she had in terms of making a fresh start. Some people who ended up in hospital for extended periods of time found that they had no home to come back to and had to start from scratch all over again. At least when Susan had to make a fresh start she was able to take some things with her and she had started to rebuild some broken bridges with her family. Thereby hangs another tale that cannot be told because it includes other people.
Her response to this was to write a community benefit statement for Lily the Pink Ministries CIC (now Lily the Pink Education CIC) when it was set up was to provide support for people in mental distress. It is also why the long term vision for Lily’s Place is somewhere where people in mental distress can get all the practical help they might need to make a fresh start.