This started with a call to become a minister. The story goes back to 1988 when I had some unusual experiences. It sounds odd but I was in my kitchen and I realised that I was reading a book that was not there. I found the book six months later in a library 160 miles away. That was how I learnt that one of the courses I was doing was one that was taken by people preparing to become a minister.
As if that is not odd enough someone came up to me at an event and said God had a great work for me to do. Ok what do I do with that idea. The deliverer of the message said go away and pray about it. Strange thing happened after that because a magazine came my way via a very strange route. In it was an article about a father and daughter team of ministers within the denomination. That was a revelation to me as I had never heard of female ministers within that denomination at that point in time.
What do I do now?
First idea was do some training and get some relevant experience. A lot of the things listed on my CV were done because I thought that they would help prepare me for such a role.
The problem then became getting into a position where I could work towards recognition. There were so many challenges on the home and family front that it seemed an impossible dream.
Unknown to me at the time I was gaining experience of all sorts of difficult situations. I learnt all sorts of things about how our minds play tricks on us. How we can get so tangled up with issues of our own past that we can barely live a normal life. Then how to get out of those tangles.
Every so often I would bring this idea to the forefront and do something about it. There was always some reason why it was the wrong time. First I needed a more supportive husband. Then I had to let the dust settle after he divorced me.
Once the challenges on the home and family front had been overcome I tried again. The problem was that what I wanted to do and what the church thought a minister should do were quite different. They were not happy helping me go forwards so I tried doing things in a different way by working on my business ideas.
The ugly duckling finds out she is a swan
I could not understand it why I felt called in one direction and then found that I didn\’t fit. The answer came when I went to a church planting seminar at the nation denominational gathering in 2013. I was not designed to be a standard minister. Phew that was good news. I was designed to be an outreach minister.
The vision I had and the ideas I had developed about how it could be brought into being definitely fell into the category of pioneering. It was a case of the ugly duckling discovering that she was a swan.
You can read more about that vision here.
Even then the waiting game was not over as it became more and more of a struggle to come home when I went to visit my family. Eventually I sat down and thought why am I putting myself through this. Surely it would be easier to just move. It sounded a good idea but moving in itself brings other challenges. It was over two years after making that decision that I was finally able to make the move. Then there is the challenge of putting down roots again.
Making a fresh start
It proved to be necessary to make a completely fresh start once I landed in north east Wales. For many different reasons I could not take a commendation with me from north east England. The majority them could be boiled down to lack of understanding.
It did not help that I needed to prove that I was someone who was capable of getting new things off the ground. Yet I struggled against the resistance I felt in others. In a different church where I feel a lot less resistance and I am developing a reputation for doing things a bit differently. It helps that I am surrounded with more people who think like me than I have ever known before.
In terms of doing additional study there comes a point where it is not possible to do more without negotiating a route. That normally comes after a church commendation but the earliest this can be given is May 2017.
Time to get settled in then. Learn the language. Literally in this case as everything is bilingual even the road markings. Pick up a new culture. There are Eisteddfods rather than leek shows. Get to know my way around. The road numbers start with 5 round here rather than 6 or 1 like they do in Durham. Maybe be waiting a bit longer is not such a bad after idea after all.